A Vignette on Blessings

When Bear was called to be the Elders Quorum President of our ward, we had six children under the age of 10, I had an area calling for the Church which kept me busy, and Bear was in a chaotic stage at work. While setting him apart, President Larson, our stake president, told Bear that if he did the calling correctly, it would be a full-time job, but that our family would be greatly blessed for it. We held tightly to that promise.

And then our transmission went out. And there was major upheaval in our extended family. And I suffered a devastating miscarriage. I remember crying out, "Where are MY blessings?!" All of this time and effort and dedication to our callings and our family and the Lord and I felt abandoned and forgotten. Bear called the missionaries to come help give me a blessing of comfort and of the five elders serving in our ward, the companionship with one of the missionaries I've ever disliked showed up at our house. Can you guess which one gave me the blessing?! 

This elder was new and didn't really know us or me and certainly not our situation. But in his prayer, he asked that God might open my eyes to the blessings around me. My eyes flew open, because WHAT?! How could he have known?! Of course this missionary didn't know, but my Heavenly Parents sure did and they saw fit to use the Holy Ghost to pass that reminder along to me. It was a source of such comfort and something I tried to focus on in the days and weeks and months which followed. 

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In 2019, President Russell M. Nelson gave a talk entitled "Come, Follow Me" in the April General Conference. He said, "Pray to have eyes to see God's hand in your life and in the world around you. Ask Him to tell you if He is really there - if He knows you. Ask Him how he feels about you. And then listen." I loved this idea so much that I made it my permanent phone wallpaper. 

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On her mission in Germany, Makanani was going through a rough patch when she decided to start keeping a list she called "Glimmers of God." She included all sorts of random little things that brought her joy or happiness or just made her smile. 

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Thursday, October 2, 2025 - Unable and unwilling to wait for the gastroenterologist's referral to go through, I called the imaging center to make our own appointment for Bear's CT scan and MRI. I could see the insurance authorization in the system, but the imaging center said I would have to wait for it to arrive on their end. Luckily, I got a dream of a customer service rep named Fabian who, after I explained our situation, told me to email the document to his personal email. He updated the system and got us the green light for an appointment. But then the appointments were booked weeks out, except for an appointment in the next two hours. We looped Bear in on the call, confirmed he could make it, and then it hit me that he was supposed to fast beforehand. Of course he had just eaten a huge meal! While Fabian acknowledged he was not a health professional, he said he thought we should still take the appointment. Discussing the risks and benefits, Bear and I decided he was right, and we were able to almost immediately head out for the CT scan, which would show the cancer had metastasized. 

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Tuesday, October 7, 2025 - After placing calls all over the county to every cancer center and doctor I could find, we received a call back from Carol at Scripps Cancer Center. She explained the lengthy process for getting in to see a doctor and how much documentation she would need. I told her I could right then and there send her reports for Bear's colonoscopy, pathology results, labs, CT scan, and anything else she needed. Realizing how far into the diagnosis we were, how young Bear is, how many children we have, and the struggle we've already had finding care, Carol hunkered down and got to work. By the end of the call, we had appointments set for some of San Diego's best doctors, including an oncologist, radiation oncologist, and colorectal surgeon. She called the doctors personally and they all worked together to get us the earliest appointments available, even bumping appointments by an hour or two throughout the next day, just to get us in faster.

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Thursday, October 9, 2025 - We met with Dr. Ray Lin, a radiation oncologist at Scripps Cancer Center and by all accounts an amazing human being. He so clearly and concisely explained that we were looking at Stage III Colorectal Cancer, complete with hand-drawn diagrams and plenty of notes for us to take home, but in a way that was so gentle and kind. He agreed that Bear needed aggressive and immediate treatment, set to begin the very next week. I can't express how wonderful he was.

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Saturday, October 11 - After a full day of cross country races and soccer games in the heat, the kids really wanted $1 Slurpees from 7-Eleven. Money is incredibly tight right now, but we dug through our jar of coins to rummage up enough money to treat them. When we arrived at 7-Eleven, we found out they didn't have small Slurpee cups and would charge us full price for the large ones. I started looking through the 7-Eleven app to see if they had any deals or if I could exchange points for freebies. Ken Long, one of the best men we've ever known, walked in, dropped a $20 bill at the cash register, and told the cashier to pay for whatever we wanted and then roll the rest of it onto the next person. There was no way he could've known how much we were struggling or of Bear's diagnosis.